A few days ago I decided to read through my high school journals. I often look back on that time as this huge season of growth, and in some ways it was. It was the season where I first began to understand God's deep love for me. It was the season where I first began to feel his love for those around me- And those are big things! But in all honesty, most of my journal entries had to do with me- my hurt, my anger, my relationships, my desires. And the Lord used those times in me- I in no way am devaluing that season of my life- but I was in awe of his faithfulness. It was my freshman year at Covenant College that I began making thanksgiving lists. I read 1000 Gifts in the midst of being torn apart- and I decided that I would say 'thank you' to God for at least 12 things every night. And so it began, a season of thanksgiving.
At the beginning, it was hard to think of twelve things from that very day that I could give thanks for. But as I made thanksgiving a discipline, not just an overflowing response, I learned what it meant to remind myself of God's great gifts.
After intentionally giving thanks every night for a couple months, I began to do it naturally. I began to give thanks as I walked to class, or as I left the Great Hall, or as I laid in bed after a hard day. Thanksgiving and Praise became overflow again.
I am now in a season where thanksgiving doesn't seem to be flowing from my lips, which means its not very present in my heart. And so I am starting TwelveThings again- and hopefully there will be more than twelve and it will come more often than just at night.
But until it does- twelve things a night.
Because the truth is, no matter how I feel or where I am in life, God is good and worthy of praise.
And sometimes, you just have to remind yourself of that truth.
(1) Thank you God for your visible grace through the lilacs.
(2) Thank you God for laughter late into the night over crazy things like duck hands and voices.
(3) Thank you for breaking out in dance when in doubt.
(4) Thank you for Moe and PJ and the joy I find in their friendship.
(5) Thank you for time spent with old friends- for being able to rejoice and mourn with my people.
(6) Thank you for the way I was able to notice Jesus in Maggie and John's wedding celebration!
(7) Thank you for the joy and freedom to reception dance.
(8) Thank you for Pentecost Sunday and for the promise of your Spirit.
(9) Thank you for the reminder to gird up and fight in truth!
(10) Thank you for LoveWar on Tuesday nights.
(11) Thank you for Hanna Hill being able to come to Knoxville the day I invite her.
(12) Thank you for TK, his birthday, and smoking Shisha together.
(13) Thank you for #highschoolfriendsandhanna
(14) Thank you for Gospel conversations with Kyle, Zach, and Luke.
(15) Thank you for late night conversations at Waffle House.
(16) Thank you for The Freedom Manual
(17) Thank you for Taylor's SIP songs and the reminder to live in the questions.
(18) Thank you for being able to intercede for Kyle 'the Keeper'
(19) Thank you for Nicola- her faithful friendship and prayers.
(20) Thank you that Beth will get to love on Egyptians.
(21) Thank you for the invitation to remember my summer in Pemba.
(22) Thank you for House of Peace ladies and for a love that binds us.
(23) Thank you for letting me know that you are better than it all.
(24) Thank you for hope and joy-filled laughter.
"Remember Whose you are and Whom you serve.
Provoke yourself by recollection, and your affection for God will increase tenfold;
your imagination will not be starved any longer, but will be quick and enthusiastic,
and your hope will be inexpressibly bright."
- Oswald Chambers
After a night filled with joy filled laughter and ordained encounters of the strangest kind, four of us grabbed hands and prayed. And as we prayed, the Holy Spirit stirred some truth up in me that I have been forgetting a lot lately.
An old friend prayed, "Let this summer be one of significance."
And I was reminded that it will be. It will be significant- because all time with the Lord is.
