existence

 God is not just found by a process of elimination. God, Jesus Christ, is living and I notice the rhythms of his life all around me. I notice him in the eyes of people. I notice him in the laughter and joy. I notice him in the tears of lament and the longing for a new world. I find him in the nations, the diversity, the beauty, and the contrast.

I notice God everywhere.

Sometimes I wonder, how can God be so alive to me and seem so dead to others....
"When we act like God is dead, it is not God who dies but we do!" - Ram Sridharan-

I have found myself just crying out to God to come alive in me and for others! 

"come alive to our hardened hearts!"

JESUS CHRIST, he is fully alive, resurrected and seated at the right hand of God the Father Almighty. 

his WORD is living and active.

and his HOLY SPIRIT has created, is sustaining, and remains in this world. 

He exists. 

I notice him in the planting of seeds,

the transformation into a butterfly, 

the spreading of yeast, 

the making of a pearl, 

and the death and life cycle in my own life. 

Today I am praying that God would use our doubts and questions to break our hearts and prepare the soil for harvest. 

Praise

To 

You,

Lord 

Christ. 

Memory.

 "Chew on my word day and night"
 How lovely is your dwelling place, LORD Almighty.
My soul yearns, and even faints for you.
My heart and my flesh cry out for the Living God.
Even the sparrow find a home and a swallow a nest for herself,
where she may have her young,
a place near your alter,
LORD Almighty, my King and my God.
Blessed are those who dwell in your house, they are ever praising you.
Blessed are those whose strength is in you,
whose hearts are set on pilgrimage.
As they walk through the valley of Baka, they will make it a place of springs.
The autumn rains will also fill it with pools.
They will go strength by strength,
til each appears before God in Zion.
Hear my prayer, LORD Almighty.
Listen to me, God of Jacob.
Look on your shield, O God.
Look with favor on your anointed one.
Better is one day in your courts than thousands elsewhere.
I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of the Lord
then to dwell in the tents of the wicked.
For the Lord God is a sun and a shield.
The Lord bestows favor and honor.
No good thing does he withhold from those whose walk is blameless.
LORD Almighty,
Blessed is the one who trusts in you!

(We did it Hailey!)

Jesus, all for Jesus,
all I am and have, and ever hope to be.

...For it is only in your will that I am free. 

urbana '12

i have been processing Urbana for a little bit now 

and it is time to share some...

To be honest, God did so much in me that I feel like I cant express it in words, not even after a couple weeks have gone by. Some memories are too important to put in print and so those will just stay in my heart and stay between me and God. But I do think that it is super valuable to give testimony to what God has been up to, so that is what this blog post is about. 

Just sharing little pieces of the story.

Whether they are quotes, questions, or videos.

"simply compelled by love to obey" 

These words were said by Tom Lin the very first night at Urbana, and I prayed that God would let those words define my life. Im still praying that on this mountain top.

Glitter was the background to all the lyrics during worship. God continues to weave a story. 

"Freedom, freedom, no more crying, 

no more chains, no more bondage, I am free!"

We sang this song the first night, and I knew that God had a lot in store for me.

I first heard this song in Mozambique. Rosa led it on her guitar on my second Sunday in Pemba.

Yield and Surrender. 

Words that popped up all over the week and all over my life. 

Jesus Christ is a garbage collector.

"If your passion is not birthed in the Word of God it will die." Amen!

I began praying that God would make me passionate and wild

about making disciples right where I am, 

and that joy and love would be my motive.

David Platt spoke straight to my heart when he said, "You do not have the time to waste your life in comfort and casual."

Another question that impacted me was, "When do your rights start and Jesus' rights as your Lord and Savior begin?"

Ram Sridharan gave one of the best sermons I have heard in a long time, and you can find it here: http://vimeo.com/56562419.

"Proximity to the Father is not the same 

as Intimacy with the Father."

Another question that I was asked was if the WORD of GOD would stop with me or spread through me? That question, along with hundreds of others, were what brought me back to the throne room.

What I know more than anything is 

that I have found someone who is WORTH everything and everyone 

and he is all I want. 

And Deep INTIMACY leads to deep SUBMISSION.

And I have submitted my whole life to Jesus Christ, my Ruler.

all things new

Its a new year, a new semester, a new season in my life.
It is time to look back over God's faithfulness and GIVE PRAISE.
Last year around this time I wrote "Dreamin' and Making Lists", it is a list of things I wanted more of in my life. God met me in those places throughout 2012:
he taught me about words and their value,
he taught me a little bit about what it looks like to love those who are so very different from me,
he gave me words to write and record,
he reminded me of the creativity that is planted deep inside,
he revealed the value of my family and his love being poured out over them,
and he promised me living water.

He answered my prayers in a deep and personal way. 

He touched me. 

I guess this year I have put off writing about a new year because I do not have vision or desire for it. 

I feel empty. 

My desire is that he would make me new again.

That he would give me a hunger for his WORD.

That he would meet with me.

That the name of Jesus Christ would be glorified through my life.

That moment by moment he would be reflected through me.

(like the moon)

I hope that he breaks my heart for what breaks his.

That I would see people the way he does!

That my sin would humble me.

That I would understand the truth and freedom of the GOSPEL more and more.

That I would seek him with everything in me 

and that I would know and rest in his love and pursuit.

That I would LIVE on the alter as a living sacrafice.

That the aroma of my life would smell so sweet to HIM.

The good news is that I know God's faithfulness.

I know he will never leave me or forsake me.

I know that he has promised to finish the work he has begun.

I know that he is my fortress. 

Find You On My Knees- Kari Jobe

But I will find you in the place I'm in, 

find you when I'm at my end,
Find you when there's nothing left of me to offer you except for brokenness.
You lift me up, you'll never leave me thirsty,
When I am weak, when I am lost and searching
I'll find you on my knees.