beautiful memories

Thank you all for your prayers and support! 

I am safely home and am thankful to be with my family.

I will share stories soon:) 

much love. 

Mozambique Update

Well it has been a couple weeks now and so much is happening that I am struggling to find all the words to express and explain it. Thirty minutes on the Internet is not that much time:) so please bear with me as I try to get it all on here as quickly as possible.
My weeks are SUPER full and they are very beautiful.
Multiple times a day I am filled with joy and thankfulness about being here. It is a wave of joy that comes when I sit in the prayer gazebo, dancing in church, eating dinner next to Carlito, seeing Manuel's smile, or laughing with the iris girls.
I am filled with thanksgiving!!!
So thank you for your prayers and support. I continue to notice God's good gifts that cam through all of you!
There have been hard moments and lots of tears moments- but that is just a part of life on this side of heaven. I'm sure there will be moments where I share about specific stories, kids, or just the ins and outs of my routine here, BUT today I want to just be bold with my words and share what God is doing in my heart.
My prayer as I write is that God would stir up your spirit so that you eagerly set your hope in him and that you would know his great love FOR YOU!

If you journey with me on a regular basis you already know that the past couple years have been a struggling season. Before I left for Pemba I was reading through some old journals and altered books and I came across a page that said “Shake what is shakable in my life.” And God has been answering that prayer in my life. I notice how he has broken me down and left me with only a foundation: Jesus Christ!

I knew that God was inviting me into a season of restoration and being built up IN HIM and FOR HIM.

These past couple weeks I have been noticed how God is re-installing foundational truth in me. I have been asking that God would allow the truths to seep deep into my being so that they become part of me.

You haven’t really learned something until you can walk in it. So that is my prayer that God would continue to teach me and that I would come back to TN and be fleshing it out through my life.

In the beginning of my time here God continued to ask me if I trusted him. He did this in multiple different ways but mostly by brining up subjects in my heart where I had really tried to control on my own. He has continued to bring up these subjects and gently asked me if I would lay them down and trust him more.

All of that sounds simple, but in it is also central to a believer being fully about Jesus and his kingdom. Without trust there is no being in love with God. And without love there is no willing sacrifice.

And that is my desire,

to be a living sacrifice.

I am living in more and more joy while being here. There are hard moments, but I am just pressing into them with Jesus. I know that every moment is a chance to grow and be prepared for the next season of my life.

Last weekend I went on IMMERSION. Emersion is when three mission school students get dropped off at a Mozambican mama’s house.  This was a funny experience and I left with so many stories. We got to Mama Senea’s house around noon. We ate, prayed, and played with lots of children. All of her extended family came by to meet the visitors who were staying with her. As villagers passed here house they all yelled “Akoonya, Akoonya!” (Which means “white person, white person”). Out mama spoke Makua, which none of us did: ) so it was a wonderful cross cultural experience. I learned so much! I learned some small Makua phrases, how to cook over hot coals with no water, how to cook rice in coconut milk, and so much more. We just sat in the red dirt together and became friends. That night, all of us slept in the same little room that was attached to the side of her mud house. I slept on top of a tarp on the ground right next to my mama. The students ended up waking up around one in the morning because we were covered in tiny black ants that were biting us. I just laughed: ) cause what else can you do with something like that. We brushed them off and prayed together and just tried to get some sleep. The whole point of the experience is that you get immersed in Mozambican culture. I wouldn’t say I was immersed but I would say I was stretched and I learned a lot from a Mama Senea.

Thank you all for your continual prayers.

I struggle a little with these updates because there is just so much happening that I do no know what to share or what not to share.

Please pray that Mozambique is covered in peace. There has been some violence concerning that upcoming elections. On Sunday night, Iris starts a 24hour prayer vigil for the country.  I have had no fear about being here! God is so good and I am thankful to be here during this time: )

Please pray that I would continue to notice what God is teaching me and where he is leading me.

And please pray that I would continue to be centered on Jesus and willing to receive whatever he chooses to give me.

Much love! Cannot wait to hug you all!

Pemba: Week One

I am in Pemba:)

OBRIGADO JESUS! 

and I am learning little bits of Portuguese which I am so thankful for:)

I just wanted to update you all a little on how its going to far...\

and it is going wonderfully!

I arrived- everything went smoothly! I got my bag and nothing was stolen out of it, there was lots of joy as I traveled. I was able to sit next to a man named Kevin on my flight to Joburg and I was able to share about what I was going to do in pemba and about my love for Jesus.

From that moment on I have known that God is asking me to just be faithful in planting the seeds. 

and so that is what I am doing. 

I love my room. I live in House of Peace. There are five girls in my room and 35 girls in our House of Peace area. We are all so different- but have really been enjoying each other:)

Thank you for your prayers. 

I especially have been thankful for my bunk buddy. Her name is Nicola and she is from England. We have lots and lots of laughter- but she is also really bold in speaking truth and reminding me of God's promises- and friends like that are always the best!

Jesus has already been so faithful to meet with me. And he is doing so much in my heart.

I have loved seeing the girls and some of the boys. There is a lot of joy in re-connecting. Please continue to pray that I have wisdom in where to invest time and energy.

Heidi has been teaching quite a bit and some thing she always says is "LOVE LOOKS LIKE SOMETHING."and I like it because then the question always comes, "what does love look like in this moment?" 

There are some sporadic thoughts and processing. 

Love you all. 

Thank you for your prayers.

Internet time is up.

Much love! 

Prayers as i head to Pemba

 This place is so special to me and place matters to God.

Thank you all for your prayers and financial support as I head to Pemba, Mozambique.
I am very excited and expectant about what is to come.
Mostly I feel so thankful that God is letting me return and SO VERY LOVED by his extravagant gift.
Here are some ways that you can pray for me while I am gone>>>

Practical things:

-That travel would go smoothly and there would be no tax put on what I am bringing into Pemba.
-That I would have wisdom and discernment on where to invest, who to love on, how to split my time between my housemates, the kiddos, school, and other ministry opportunities.
-That there would be unity in our house.

Some Names you could be praying for:

-Manuel- I met manuel five years ago. He will be nine or ten now. Please pray that Jesus fills him up and that he knows that he is loved, pursued, and NOTICED.
-Farda- I love this girly:) Her name means pearl, which I think is very fitting. Please pray that she would be rooted in the love of Christ and that his perfect love would free her from all fear!
-Garlito- I am so excited to see this little friend! Garlito is about seven now. Please pray that as he grows he would be a man who seeks after God and is aware of his presence and joy.

Reality things to pray for: 

-Please pray that I would full receive God's identity for me everyday as I wake up. So that I can freely offer up what I am to him and to the people around me. This also frees me from comparison and fear.
-Please pray that God, in his love, would continue the good work in me and make me more and more like Christ.
-Please pray that my heart would be stretched, not inflated.
-Please pray that I would learn even more about clothing myself with the humility of Christ.
-And please pray that I would rejoice in being a laid-down lover of Jesus Christ, My LORD and Savior.

I want to sit at the feet of Mozambican children, women, and men. 

but more importantly

 my desire is to sit at Jesus' feet, to learn from him and dwell in his presence. 

CANNOT THANK YOU ALL ENOUGH. 

...AND I AM GONE.

see ya in August!

Dependence

 Lent is about death in the dependence. 

Easter is about the life and victory found in total dependence. 

We are not intended to stay in the cocoon forever.

Release the fear.

Three years on the Mountain top.

I just finished three years on the Mountain. 
It has been long, hard, and really beautiful. 
Every year passes faster than it should. Each contains lots of memories and lessons learned.
This year I thought a lot about who I was when I first visited Covenant- and how God's faithfulness has made me new and brought restoration into my life. 

This was a year of friendships- new ones and broken ones. 
A year full of missing family

 and at the same time loving where I was at.  .      .    . 

It was a year full of studying subjects that I dislike 

but being diligent anyways.

This was the year that God re-awakened my heart to the need for prayer,

his presence,

his love for me, 

and his reminder to receive his good gifts.

This year I was invited back into the church calendar. 

I participated in advent and was filled with joy during Christmas. 

For the first time in my life I fully engaged in lent. 

Maybe LENT was the most significant season of this past school year. 

I use to pride myself in being independent.

an individual- not in need of others.

And for the first time I fully leaned into my Jesus- relying fully on him.

I felt strength and his spirit move in me.

I noticed how freeing and humbling it is to live as a dependent. 

I walked away from my junior year at Covenant being so aware of what God has been doing inside of me. Over the past three years God has ripped down what was shakeable in my life and reminded me that my foundation is CHRIST ALONE. 

"My hope is built on nothing less than Jesus' blood and righteousness. 

I dare not trust the sweetest frame, 

but wholly trust in Jesus' name."

I am heading to Seattle and Hope to see my beautiful family.
I am already so thankful for the next three weeks of my life.
After that, I head to Pemba, Mozambique.
This year is not over- and as much as it is important to notice seasons it also important to notice how God moves in one continual story.
We are just part of his story and he can use us as he choses.

God is so faithful

and I want my whole life to be about him. 

Excitement Abounds...

Mozambique Visa is here:)

Praise the LORD! 

He is my rabbi and my good shepherd. 

Memory.

Even to your grey hairs and old age 
I am he; I AM he who will sustain you.
I have made you
and
I will carry you.
I will sustain you
and 
I will rescue you. 
Isaiah 46:4

Pemba Update.

God is so faithful and I am in awe of his goodness. 

I have paid for my whole school tuition. I am in the process of getting international medical insurance and paying off my plane ticket! 

Every bit of support that I have received as been like tangible forms of grace and love.

I am so thankful that God is confirming the path.

I am eager to be in the red dirt once again. 

More to come about my Lenten season 2013. 

God is at work. He is moving in power.

Support Letter.

As many of you know I have been hoping and praying that God would allow me to return to Pemba, Mozambique. I first visited Iris right before my junior year in high school, since that time God has worked in my life and given me a heart for cross-cultural missions. I have been asking him for four and half years to let me return to Mozambique and go through Iris’ Harvest School, a school that is intended to train up missionaries and send them out to the world. This summer seemed like a good summer to be out of the country, so I applied to the school and I got in and my excitement has just continued to grow! 

During my time in Pemba I will attend classes every morning which will focus on walking in obedience to God and to his mission. In the afternoons I will have optional talks from guest speakers and cultural workshops. During my time there I will go on two outreaches. These trips take us out into bush where there is no electricity and no running water. My past outreaches have been times where I have had to rely fully on Christ and not at all on my strength, perseverance, or control. I am expectant about continuing to learn about this. On Fridays the mission students will partner with local Mozambicans or long-term missionaries and spend all day practically serving. Then on Sundays we will have the opportunity to serve with the local Mozambican church. 

There are multiple things I am looking forward to. I am excited about being in an environment of students and families that love the Lord and are eager to lay down their lives for him. I am eager to be in a place where I can learn about missions through missionaries, pastors, AND through hands-on serving. I really do believe that God has so much in store for me. I know that I will learn so much through our class time, living in a home with international students, and learning from Mozambicans. My prayer is that this upcoming summer will prepare me more and more for a lifetime of laying down my life for the glory of God and the coming of his kingdom. I am also very expectant about stepping back into relationship with many of the Iris children that I have grown to love over the years. 

If you are interested in investing in what God is doing in my life there are multiple ways that you could support me. First, and most importantly, I need prayer. I really need prayer as I prepare to go; that I would be grounded in the love and grace of God and that I would trust him fully. I also would love it if you could pray that I would be able to bring back and be faithful to all that God will entrust to me during my time in Pemba. Another way to invest in what God is doing in my life is through financially supporting me. Over the next two and half months I will need to raise $5,000. This money will cover the school tuition, my living expenses, and my airplane tickets. I know this is a lot of money but I am trusting that if God wants me there it will be provided. Sending money directly to Iris is very complicated. The most convenient way to financially support me is by mailing a check (that made out to Emily Kuhn) to my Covenant College address. I will then use that money to either pay for my plane ticket or my school tuition. 

existence

 God is not just found by a process of elimination. God, Jesus Christ, is living and I notice the rhythms of his life all around me. I notice him in the eyes of people. I notice him in the laughter and joy. I notice him in the tears of lament and the longing for a new world. I find him in the nations, the diversity, the beauty, and the contrast.

I notice God everywhere.

Sometimes I wonder, how can God be so alive to me and seem so dead to others....
"When we act like God is dead, it is not God who dies but we do!" - Ram Sridharan-

I have found myself just crying out to God to come alive in me and for others! 

"come alive to our hardened hearts!"

JESUS CHRIST, he is fully alive, resurrected and seated at the right hand of God the Father Almighty. 

his WORD is living and active.

and his HOLY SPIRIT has created, is sustaining, and remains in this world. 

He exists. 

I notice him in the planting of seeds,

the transformation into a butterfly, 

the spreading of yeast, 

the making of a pearl, 

and the death and life cycle in my own life. 

Today I am praying that God would use our doubts and questions to break our hearts and prepare the soil for harvest. 

Praise

To 

You,

Lord 

Christ. 

Memory.

 "Chew on my word day and night"
 How lovely is your dwelling place, LORD Almighty.
My soul yearns, and even faints for you.
My heart and my flesh cry out for the Living God.
Even the sparrow find a home and a swallow a nest for herself,
where she may have her young,
a place near your alter,
LORD Almighty, my King and my God.
Blessed are those who dwell in your house, they are ever praising you.
Blessed are those whose strength is in you,
whose hearts are set on pilgrimage.
As they walk through the valley of Baka, they will make it a place of springs.
The autumn rains will also fill it with pools.
They will go strength by strength,
til each appears before God in Zion.
Hear my prayer, LORD Almighty.
Listen to me, God of Jacob.
Look on your shield, O God.
Look with favor on your anointed one.
Better is one day in your courts than thousands elsewhere.
I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of the Lord
then to dwell in the tents of the wicked.
For the Lord God is a sun and a shield.
The Lord bestows favor and honor.
No good thing does he withhold from those whose walk is blameless.
LORD Almighty,
Blessed is the one who trusts in you!

(We did it Hailey!)

Jesus, all for Jesus,
all I am and have, and ever hope to be.

...For it is only in your will that I am free. 

urbana '12

i have been processing Urbana for a little bit now 

and it is time to share some...

To be honest, God did so much in me that I feel like I cant express it in words, not even after a couple weeks have gone by. Some memories are too important to put in print and so those will just stay in my heart and stay between me and God. But I do think that it is super valuable to give testimony to what God has been up to, so that is what this blog post is about. 

Just sharing little pieces of the story.

Whether they are quotes, questions, or videos.

"simply compelled by love to obey" 

These words were said by Tom Lin the very first night at Urbana, and I prayed that God would let those words define my life. Im still praying that on this mountain top.

Glitter was the background to all the lyrics during worship. God continues to weave a story. 

"Freedom, freedom, no more crying, 

no more chains, no more bondage, I am free!"

We sang this song the first night, and I knew that God had a lot in store for me.

I first heard this song in Mozambique. Rosa led it on her guitar on my second Sunday in Pemba.

Yield and Surrender. 

Words that popped up all over the week and all over my life. 

Jesus Christ is a garbage collector.

"If your passion is not birthed in the Word of God it will die." Amen!

I began praying that God would make me passionate and wild

about making disciples right where I am, 

and that joy and love would be my motive.

David Platt spoke straight to my heart when he said, "You do not have the time to waste your life in comfort and casual."

Another question that impacted me was, "When do your rights start and Jesus' rights as your Lord and Savior begin?"

Ram Sridharan gave one of the best sermons I have heard in a long time, and you can find it here: http://vimeo.com/56562419.

"Proximity to the Father is not the same 

as Intimacy with the Father."

Another question that I was asked was if the WORD of GOD would stop with me or spread through me? That question, along with hundreds of others, were what brought me back to the throne room.

What I know more than anything is 

that I have found someone who is WORTH everything and everyone 

and he is all I want. 

And Deep INTIMACY leads to deep SUBMISSION.

And I have submitted my whole life to Jesus Christ, my Ruler.

all things new

Its a new year, a new semester, a new season in my life.
It is time to look back over God's faithfulness and GIVE PRAISE.
Last year around this time I wrote "Dreamin' and Making Lists", it is a list of things I wanted more of in my life. God met me in those places throughout 2012:
he taught me about words and their value,
he taught me a little bit about what it looks like to love those who are so very different from me,
he gave me words to write and record,
he reminded me of the creativity that is planted deep inside,
he revealed the value of my family and his love being poured out over them,
and he promised me living water.

He answered my prayers in a deep and personal way. 

He touched me. 

I guess this year I have put off writing about a new year because I do not have vision or desire for it. 

I feel empty. 

My desire is that he would make me new again.

That he would give me a hunger for his WORD.

That he would meet with me.

That the name of Jesus Christ would be glorified through my life.

That moment by moment he would be reflected through me.

(like the moon)

I hope that he breaks my heart for what breaks his.

That I would see people the way he does!

That my sin would humble me.

That I would understand the truth and freedom of the GOSPEL more and more.

That I would seek him with everything in me 

and that I would know and rest in his love and pursuit.

That I would LIVE on the alter as a living sacrafice.

That the aroma of my life would smell so sweet to HIM.

The good news is that I know God's faithfulness.

I know he will never leave me or forsake me.

I know that he has promised to finish the work he has begun.

I know that he is my fortress. 

Find You On My Knees- Kari Jobe

But I will find you in the place I'm in, 

find you when I'm at my end,
Find you when there's nothing left of me to offer you except for brokenness.
You lift me up, you'll never leave me thirsty,
When I am weak, when I am lost and searching
I'll find you on my knees.