A Day of Tears.

Today was a day of tears.

I started my day with JOY and LAUGHTER. I had a beautiful Waffle House Adventure with Anna. As we sat there and talked about family, church, and our Abba I became so aware of how good our God is. He is way ahead of me, always.

He hems me in behind and before.

As I drove away I became so aware that I am leaving Florida so soon. Dad's words, "give yourself time to be sad" came rushing in. I love my youth. I love watching them grow and learn. I love seeing hunger. I love watching them find words. I love the way God lets me SEE. I love going through Colossians. I love being silly and hearing their laughter. I love them.

They are God's grace gifts to me this summer.

Leaving Waffle House and waving goodbye to Anna brought all these emotions and a few tears.

I then headed to a mother's home.

She welcomed me. We talked over lesson plans, asking each other questions. Talking about the value of our stories, of remembering, of hope, of clinging to TRUTH.

She asked me my story. How did God capture my heart? he is so good.

As I told, there were more tears. God is so faithful.

He is faithful even when we are not.

Love sets my heart on fire. Love has redeemed me from the pit. Love has released me from a spirit of striving. Love taught me about grace. Love knows me well. Love sees all. Love sends joy and hope. Love continues to bring healing. I trust in Love.

God is Love.

More tears. Words about depression and weariness. Tears. Words about hiding and being exposed. More tears.

Anything exposed by light becomes visible.

So thankful for caring words. The mother's tears come as she notices how fierce the war is over my heart. How powerful is the work of God in my life and how strong the battle.

As I drove home I was driving on a four lane road with a median in the middle. I was in the turning lane, and there was a homeless man, holding a sign so he could be fed, right beside me. He was on the median. On both corners of the road were young men in ties holding up their Bibles in the air. They desire to proclaim Christ through this action. In front of them stood a man who needed love, a home, some food, and grace. As I continued driving I entered into judgment on those men. But soon, I became ashamed that I am the same as them. I too carry the Word of God with me, and I did not feed the hungry. More tears. So ashamed and so dirty. I turned my car around looking for the homeless man. God was gracious and allowed me to find him.

Embarrassed, I said, "sorry I passed you the first time," gave him some food and I cried the whole way home. No judgement on the men, because I too am a sinner, forgetting the unlovely. More than that, forgetting that I am the unlovely. Oh God, you are so good to me!

GRACE.

GRACE.

GRACE.

Allow my heart to be covered in GRACE.

"The Cure for anything is salt water;

sweat, tears,

or the sea."

Nearing the end of my summer beside the ocean.

Thankful for healing.

Thankful for tears.