LOVES and Learning.

I love fall.

The trees are dying but the colors come alive.

quiet little paradoxes.

They offer me life and healing.

I notice the leaves falling. Slowly.

I remember this one morning in North Carolina, waking up to my dad's excitment.

He was pulling me and my sisters outside into the chilly morning air.

We ran around in circles under the big oak trees.

Arms in the air, lifted high.

Reaching for the leaves.

Catching them as they fell.

Celebrating the little moments of beauty.

I love fall. and I love that memory.

Beautiful rain drops on my window.

Beautiful blurring of colors.

The cold air rushes in, overwhelming me, and bringing new seasons.

I love a lot.

and I love a lot of people.

and I even love a lot of things.

but even in that, im still learning how to love.

cause most days it is trial and error kinda method.

its hard.

but its worth it!

Especially for people like Deshel and Meme.

They grab my heart and don't let it go.

I love their hugs and squeals. their sass and tears.

I love knitting.

and reading.

journaling.

sitting.

listening.

dancing.

and laughing.

Deshel said, "This my friend Emily!" as if to tell her I was safe and to warn her not to give me a hard time. (This is love acted out not spoken.)

I am thankful for being received.

For learning new things.

and loving and being loved.

I LOVE Family.

Well... actually, I love MY whole big family.

My parents

and sisters

and brother-in-laws

and all my nephews:)

I LOVE EM' ALL!

I am so excited for Christmas to come,

I could just pee my pants!

Fall Break on the Mountain.

This fall break I am being called into a place of

stillness.

noticing.

listnening.

SEEING.

And so, to do that,

I will be taking photographs of my break

instead of putting words to it.

Sometimes I see more through the lens of a camera.

I am thankful for the gift of sight.

For colors and for reading words.

For seeing pictures and nature.

For sunshine and for seeing the death of colorful leaves.

These photos are places of truth:

places of thanksgiving.

places of noticing.

THANKS BE TO GOD!

It is a great pity that, in the world of light, the gift of sight is used only as a mere convenience rather than as a means of adding fullness to life.”~Helen Keller

"It is not what the world holds for you, it is what you bring to it." -Anne of Green Gables

Desire is painful these days.

It seems safe, fluid like.

And then it hardens, expands, pushes up against my walls.

( Like water freezing )

It crushes the things I thought I knew.

It hurts.

"More Lament.

More Mourning"

That is what HE is callng me to.

Oh, how it hurts.

So thankful I can rest in His love for me.

P.s. I <3 Howard HighSchool.

P.s.

I am ready to play in some RED DIRT!

oh. I miss pemba today.

Thanks in the Unknown.

This is what my life feels like most days:::

Pure craziness.

Reckless.

Out of control.

This is how I feel:

Crazy insane,

and yet FULL of laughter!

Sometimes, the craziness is where you learn how to just be.

How to be honest, real, and raw.

How to wait on the Lord.

How to be still.

How to KNOW (in full confidence) that he is bringing redmeption.

ONLY THROUGH HIS BLOOD!!!

So in the midst of the chaos, tears, and groans... I feel still.

I feel someone taking my hand and bringing my focus back to the TRUTH.

back to HIM.

Thanks be to God.

"Live in the Questions." Thank you Anna Harrison.

Why is there fear in the unknown?

Better question,

Why is there not thanks and praise in the unknown?

Well I can tell you one thing,

God is ripping people pleasing out of me.

It feels brutal.

Just sayin'

More and more unsettled.

More peace though.

More JESUS.

"You can have all this world.

Just give me Jesus!"

It is raining outside.

I love rain... I have always said that it is God crying with his people.

And tonight that is true again.

This beautifully hard life brings mourning and lament.

Sometimes it rains for a short time but it rains hard.

Tonight it rains long and softly.

And that is what lament in this season looks like too.

There is nothing short and sweet about mourning.

This will be a long and constant process.

But God is reminding me that he is WITH.

He journeys with me through this hardness.

He allows the water of life to pour out over me.

He brings streams into the desert places (Psalm 107).

He allows the rain to remind me of truth.

Truth that he is WITH.

Some people shut out the rain.

I open up my life to it.

I open my windows to hear the pitter-patter.

I step out onto the Balcony to hear it clearly

and to feel the cool air.

I want the wind to push the rain into me.

I want to step into the messiness and calmness of tender rain.

I want my life to offer the same fragrance this rain offers to me!

"I Heard her...I am noticed, I am beautiful."

oh God. you are so good

you encourage me just in the nick of time.

you save me.

just in the nick of time.

"Don't be alone.

Cause you aint:)"

if i seem to be strong. its a lie. im not.

maybe Christ gives me strength.

but that is it. none of it is mine.

super needy.

thats not a bad place to be.

its just an honest place for me.

honest, raw, and full of HOPE.

Just throwin' this out there.

I want to be a mom so bad.

I want to cook and clean

and LAUGH and DANCE.

And be crazy:) and except tears.

Mom just sounds wonderful to me right now.

BEAUTY AWAKENS:

I am surrounded by beauty.

Daily noticing God's grace gifts.

I am counting again:) Thanks to Ann.

God is worthy of so much more than I can ever give.

But I want to give it all. all i have to give.

Blessed to be a blessing.

Little Bits of Ordinary.

So. Life is moving on and it is one of those very full seasons.

(i guess they all are)

"Life is made of the moments."

Covenant. Balcony.

Mission Chatt. Psalms with women.

Urban YL. Pin and Yata.

Soul sisters.

Waiting. Questions.

Matthew and Jesus.

Two Little J's.

Lovin' the Fam.

Staff and Girls.

Lunch Dates.

Classes.

Full Time Student?

WHAT IN THE WORLD DOES THAT MEAN???

Oh Balcony... how I love you all.

Balcony is FULL of love, laughter, tears, little quirks, and big hugs.

Some days it has conflict...

Some days it has silence,

Some days it has tons of squealing,

but on all days God is moving!

"Im clinging to the promise that your not through with me yet."

GREEN [Fresh] LIFE!

We R Who We R.

HOLLA!

What is this life about? I guess it seems like a crazy question for a christian to ask. But ill be honest and say that some days this routine just doesnt cut it for me. There are days where i forget to notice the beauty, or forget to be present and engage, and there are days where i dont notice God at work.

There are a couple girls on Balcony who are in a ceramics class.

And they will be in the art barn for hours at a time!!!

HOURS.

They practice so hard to be able to work on the wheel.

Potters Hands.

THE POTTER SPENDS HOURS, no DAYS on me!

He forms.mold.

Rips down

and Builds back up.

He works me till im soft and ready.

Ready to be moved-

Ready to be changed!

He is at work.

CAPTURE MY HEART AGAIN<3

"Your love is extravagent, your friendship is intimate.

I feel like movin' to the rythm of your grace."

HE IS CALLING ME BACK! back into love.

back into his pure and righteous love.

Grace is pouring out and He is giving me eyes to see.

eyes to see and notice.

He is pulling back into thanksgiving.

"Hard Thanksgiving."

hard.

thanks.

"Open up my eyes to the things unseen."

Routine doesnt work for me.

Thankful that He is offering me much more than routine!

Thankful that He has offered me LIFE TO THE FULLEST.

Thankful that I am learning to receive!

Please Welcome to stage Yata and Pin:::

Breaking off curses

and doing UrbanYoungLife skits.

holla.

So overwhelmed by God's goodness.

So thankful for my [now] THREE nephews!

Cason (rock)

Judah (praise)

Jonas (peace).

Being an aunt is the biggest blessing I have. (right above being a sister:)

"Aunt Em."

"Oh how sweet to trust in Jesus.

Just to trust his cleansing blood...

Oh for grace,

to trust him more."

"

Hurricane.

I need You like a hurricane

Thunder crashing wind and rain

To tear my walls down

I'm only Yours now

I need You like a burning flame

A wild fire untamed

To burn these walls down

I'm only yours now

I'm only yours now

I am Yours alone Lord

PSALM 51:17

The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit;

a broken and contrite heart,

O God, you will not despise.

May We Walk In Sunshine.

Green grass.

Maxi dresses.

Fun boots.

Loud laughter.

Sarah and Stephy!

Sabbath Rest.

Slow reading.

Truth telling.

Heart friends.

Soul and

Blues.

Reading.

Journaling.

Inspiring Art.

Colorful Books.

Country

Music.

Some Dancin'

and singing.

Crazy Hair.

Care Free.

Alive.

Life is BEAUTIFUL. when we notice it and when we don't. It is beautiful!

Life is offered to us. It is freely given.

So I am thankful.

Simply,

GIVE THANKS.

My heart is formed by thankgiving.

(in the good and the bad.)

GIVE THANKS.

Questions on my mind:

>Why did God create our hearts to desire?

>How do I not live by fear?

>What does "beautifully broken" actaully look like in real life?

>What does release look like?

"Turn from the path of planning,

to the path of PEACE."

Thankful for Mission Chat.

and a morning of sharing stories.

"all my rent man does is turn off my electricity."

There is NO fear in darkness.

Darkness flees when the Light Comes.

Jesus Come.

P.S. I REALLY love diet Coke! :)