Thanks in the Unknown.

This is what my life feels like most days:::

Pure craziness.

Reckless.

Out of control.

This is how I feel:

Crazy insane,

and yet FULL of laughter!

Sometimes, the craziness is where you learn how to just be.

How to be honest, real, and raw.

How to wait on the Lord.

How to be still.

How to KNOW (in full confidence) that he is bringing redmeption.

ONLY THROUGH HIS BLOOD!!!

So in the midst of the chaos, tears, and groans... I feel still.

I feel someone taking my hand and bringing my focus back to the TRUTH.

back to HIM.

Thanks be to God.

"Live in the Questions." Thank you Anna Harrison.

Why is there fear in the unknown?

Better question,

Why is there not thanks and praise in the unknown?

Well I can tell you one thing,

God is ripping people pleasing out of me.

It feels brutal.

Just sayin'

More and more unsettled.

More peace though.

More JESUS.

"You can have all this world.

Just give me Jesus!"

It is raining outside.

I love rain... I have always said that it is God crying with his people.

And tonight that is true again.

This beautifully hard life brings mourning and lament.

Sometimes it rains for a short time but it rains hard.

Tonight it rains long and softly.

And that is what lament in this season looks like too.

There is nothing short and sweet about mourning.

This will be a long and constant process.

But God is reminding me that he is WITH.

He journeys with me through this hardness.

He allows the water of life to pour out over me.

He brings streams into the desert places (Psalm 107).

He allows the rain to remind me of truth.

Truth that he is WITH.

Some people shut out the rain.

I open up my life to it.

I open my windows to hear the pitter-patter.

I step out onto the Balcony to hear it clearly

and to feel the cool air.

I want the wind to push the rain into me.

I want to step into the messiness and calmness of tender rain.

I want my life to offer the same fragrance this rain offers to me!

"I Heard her...I am noticed, I am beautiful."

oh God. you are so good

you encourage me just in the nick of time.

you save me.

just in the nick of time.

"Don't be alone.

Cause you aint:)"

if i seem to be strong. its a lie. im not.

maybe Christ gives me strength.

but that is it. none of it is mine.

super needy.

thats not a bad place to be.

its just an honest place for me.

honest, raw, and full of HOPE.

Just throwin' this out there.

I want to be a mom so bad.

I want to cook and clean

and LAUGH and DANCE.

And be crazy:) and except tears.

Mom just sounds wonderful to me right now.

BEAUTY AWAKENS:

I am surrounded by beauty.

Daily noticing God's grace gifts.

I am counting again:) Thanks to Ann.

God is worthy of so much more than I can ever give.

But I want to give it all. all i have to give.

Blessed to be a blessing.