Glitter!

Study. Study. Study. Take A Final. Study. Take A Final. Study. Study. Younglife. Study. Take A Final. Study. Take A Final.

I feel like life has been on pause for a bit.

And when it finally started moving again,

it all crashed in on me.

"Once you feel dead it is hard as hell to wake back up."

Wake up!

Wake up, you sleeper!

AWAKEN.

I am thankful for Christmas.

For Jesus being born into the messiness of this world

through a woman's birth canal.

He was born into my messy and broken world.

And this Christmas that was comfort for me.

It was less about celebration and more about THANKSGIVING.

Thankful that he didn't leave me alone, but that he came.

HE CAME! and today that is enough for me.

I am not alone:::

That manna feels like a five course meal.

I love my family.

I say it all the time,

but thats because each time I am with them my heart expands.

I cant believe I missed some things for years.

Family is always hard,

but it is also full of love and joy.

This is family too! and I miss them all...

a lot.

"LIVE IN THE QUESTIONS."

I would rather ignore the questions.

These tiny little sentences pierce my heart and make it fully uncomfortable and out of control.

And to be blut- I hate both of those feelings!

But questions bring me to the feet of Jesus.

They ask me to cling to something firm.

They remind me to be thankful that my identity is given to me.

and that I dont have to earn it!

But how do I love the questions?

This I need help with.

“I believe that this way of living, this focus on the present, the daily, the tangible, this intense concentration not on the news headlines but on the flowers growing in your own garden, the children growing in your own home, this way of living has the potential to open up the heavens, to yield a glittering handful of diamonds where a second ago there was coal. This way of living and noticing and building and crafting can crack through the movie sets and soundtracks that keep us waiting for our own life stories to begin, and set us free to observe the lives we have been creating all along without even realizing it.”
― Shauna Niequist, Cold Tangerines: Celebrating the Extraordinary Nature of Everyday Life

Glitter! this has been what God has used to talk to me lately.

"Im not a glitter person," I tell her.

"What does that mean?" she asks.

Little did I know

that God was gonna use that little question

to bring transformation into my life.

Glitter! has NO fear of Man!

It is that kinda thing that you either hate or love.

But it doesn't care that people hate it,

it still kinda screams:

"HERE I AM WORLD! see me!"

It also spreads faster then gossip.

Light reflects off it!

and it is radically beautiful.

And it cant hide.

No matter how hard I try to hide, God constantly calls me out.

This time he is saying... "Wake up! Wake up! I made you to be like glitter em.

I MADE YOU LIKE GLITTER!"

“You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven." Matthew 5: 14-16

NO FEAR,

Ya'll.

P.S. I miss my girls. Im thankful for them!

"You gotta big your fairy tail baby."

I'm a "glitter" person.

... who knew.?.

But I am.

Cause' God speaks to me through GLITTER!

Awkward Story Number ONE.

I am sitting at Pasha,

Supposedly working on some paper, when this old guy walks in and sits RIGHT across from me.

Like I am on a couch and five feet away there is another couch facing me. And he sits right there, not diagonal, not on the ten empty other seats in the room. But right across from me.

He has been there for the past ten minutes.

Every time I look up he is looking back at me.

Now maybe it is by chance.

But I kinda feel awkward that some one is sitting there staring at me and I cant really do anything about it.

Sometimes people are just plain weird.

But you know what, sometimes I am too.

So I guess Ill give the old guy a break and just pray he leaves soon.

Eleven (11) Things.

This is not a Thanksgiving day post.

(This really isn't about some American Holiday.)

Really its me remembering what God taught me last year.

Almost every night me and my roomie, Katie, would crawl into bed and each say eleven things we were thankful for from the day. It was a dark season for me and it allowed me to grow and change and notice the bits of Manna that God was giving me throughout my day.

It was so good for my heart.

NOTICE his faithfullness over you.

Notice his love

and his care for you!

Today God reminded me that THERE IS PEACE IN PRAISE.

and so I give thanks and praise for what he has done.

Because he is worthy

and because I need it.

1. Stacks of old books, read and learned from...

2. Starting a new Jane Austen book. new for me.

3. Noticing the change of seasons. Physical and heart seasons.

4. a journal without any lines or rules or expectations.

5. This House. Im really thankful for every nook and crany of this loved home.

6. Nearing the end.

7. "lol yahoo" I love my girl Deshel!

8. New things like striped shoes. (ooooOh sassy)

9. Big oversized sweater that make me feel comfy and warm.

10. Little twinsie nephews that giggle and smile:)

11. Cason saying "Go, car, Go" and him laughing at a bee buzzzzing in his ear.

LOVES and Learning.

I love fall.

The trees are dying but the colors come alive.

quiet little paradoxes.

They offer me life and healing.

I notice the leaves falling. Slowly.

I remember this one morning in North Carolina, waking up to my dad's excitment.

He was pulling me and my sisters outside into the chilly morning air.

We ran around in circles under the big oak trees.

Arms in the air, lifted high.

Reaching for the leaves.

Catching them as they fell.

Celebrating the little moments of beauty.

I love fall. and I love that memory.

Beautiful rain drops on my window.

Beautiful blurring of colors.

The cold air rushes in, overwhelming me, and bringing new seasons.

I love a lot.

and I love a lot of people.

and I even love a lot of things.

but even in that, im still learning how to love.

cause most days it is trial and error kinda method.

its hard.

but its worth it!

Especially for people like Deshel and Meme.

They grab my heart and don't let it go.

I love their hugs and squeals. their sass and tears.

I love knitting.

and reading.

journaling.

sitting.

listening.

dancing.

and laughing.

Deshel said, "This my friend Emily!" as if to tell her I was safe and to warn her not to give me a hard time. (This is love acted out not spoken.)

I am thankful for being received.

For learning new things.

and loving and being loved.

I LOVE Family.

Well... actually, I love MY whole big family.

My parents

and sisters

and brother-in-laws

and all my nephews:)

I LOVE EM' ALL!

I am so excited for Christmas to come,

I could just pee my pants!

Fall Break on the Mountain.

This fall break I am being called into a place of

stillness.

noticing.

listnening.

SEEING.

And so, to do that,

I will be taking photographs of my break

instead of putting words to it.

Sometimes I see more through the lens of a camera.

I am thankful for the gift of sight.

For colors and for reading words.

For seeing pictures and nature.

For sunshine and for seeing the death of colorful leaves.

These photos are places of truth:

places of thanksgiving.

places of noticing.

THANKS BE TO GOD!

It is a great pity that, in the world of light, the gift of sight is used only as a mere convenience rather than as a means of adding fullness to life.”~Helen Keller

"It is not what the world holds for you, it is what you bring to it." -Anne of Green Gables

Desire is painful these days.

It seems safe, fluid like.

And then it hardens, expands, pushes up against my walls.

( Like water freezing )

It crushes the things I thought I knew.

It hurts.

"More Lament.

More Mourning"

That is what HE is callng me to.

Oh, how it hurts.

So thankful I can rest in His love for me.

P.s. I <3 Howard HighSchool.

P.s.

I am ready to play in some RED DIRT!

oh. I miss pemba today.